Welcome to the game

After never-ending hours looking for forgiveness of somebody else’s mistakes you hold on to everything you did right.

Sinking redemption while searching for the earrings you lost the night you thought the answers were in the strangers arms.

Just tell the young how one can put together the pieces one ain’t looking for.

And in the meantime I’ll be leaving my worst enemies in every chance I’m not taking of holding you.

Spending every chance I get thinking about your fear of touching, your fear of trusting, your fear of not feeling.

Wondering if the easy path to confidence is the one worth taking when what you want doesn’t matter.

As if confidence was nothing but the feeling of self-appreciation you have just for the recognition of how lucky you are for knowing him.

Even tough in the end it doesn’t matter which path I choose to spent in your life.

Because I know that I’ll be there when you’re gone forever, and I’ll know that I did my best being the one you felt back on.

We can go through anything, the only game you truly deserve to win is the one you don’t know the rules of how to.

Before sleep

I really don’t think the ‘while’ matters, you know? The worst thing that could ever happen would be if I lost her, but I’m not afraid of that because I don’t even consider it as a real chance. It won’t be like the last time that when it was over I had not only to deal with her leaving but also with my own lack. You only pick up yourself once, whatever happens after that won’t be as worse. As what’s inside of you won’t get any smaller. For every part of me that was gone I’ve stolen another one in return. And we need the bruises, nothing in our worlds that’s worth having comes easy. That’s the difference between daydreaming with someone and wondering about someone before sleep. When it’s the last, you know you already have whatever it takes.

Heart of Gold

It doesn’t matter if you are as neurotic as Woody Allen or if you’re drinking wine while listening to the Ninth. It doesn’t matter if you spend your free time looking for answers to obvious questions or cooking una bella fugazzeta. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t found the meaning of your life or if you are a passionate oblivious workaholic. In the evening twilight you’ll only be able to distinguish the ones with a good heart from the ones without it.

None of us

As if it wasn’t hard enough having no greater God to bend to, I also lost the one I was supposed to bend with. One of the most wise things I’ve ever heard was an old poet saying something like ‘Understanding is forgetting how to love’. You can’t expect to turn your past into quietness. And you can’t expect that the future will bring you any shoulders to dry the tears you wouldn’t be dropping. I saw your best side, and I would never let that go just because I was seeing you at your worst. You just had to let yourself go. I’ve punished myself for so long, it was about time I realized that there was nothing I could ever do…And now, recalling everything that we had from the beginning, we were done the first time. After that there was nothing none of us could do.

Farewell

You know something’s wrong when you wake up wanting to move

Knowing you have nothing to be excited about

Life is long and I’m running out of time

I’m always out of time to do what my youth rambles around

 

Living in the past so we don’t drown in the present

Moving on it’s not an option when you’re so alive in me

And don’t come telling I told you so

If you’re not coming at all

 

I’m not standing in front of you

Waiting for the next nonsense one of us have to say

And I don’t expect you to understand something that didn’t happen

I just don’t like to walk with a cigarette in my fingers

Somebody else

I’m on a highway without signs

Have only my slippers on

With nothing in my mind telling me when to fall

And it’s hard to let go when you see your pain in someone else’s eyes

 

And you wouldn’t wanna watch what we lack

It’s hard enough not knowing everything that bugs you

Imagine living in a world where everything we do

Is image what we didn’t

 

Your words are still in my shoebox

All the ones you didn’t use but that I saw

When you passed by my grass so graceful

With nothing on but all my dreams for you

 

And all I ever wished for myself

Were to feel you in my arms one more time

The last and only time like too old friends

Finally surrendering themselves to everything they believed

 

All I ever dreamed for you was suddenly gone

But I promise all my ideas for you will always be in me

In the shoebox I had only for you with the wishes I wrote only to you

But don’t expect me to cry and don’t expect me to hate

 

You are the very same I always thought you were

But now what you were is only in my heart

And the only thing I expect from you

Is to forget I was once a part of your life

You ain’t no friend of mine

And what we’re gonna tell our parents

When they ask ‘are you happy son?’

If we didn’t allow ourselves any regrets

And just ramble with everything that went on

 

And how you’re gonna deal with yourselves

When you realize hypocrisy isn’t real

As if what we think of ourselves

Wasn’t already part of the deal

 

And please don’t complain about your generation

Because them and you are the same

Don’t you listen to their words of celebration

Because we and them are only to blame

 

And let’s not worry about tomorrow or the day after

It’s time we accept we won’t change our mind

We’re nothing in this world but wavering drifters

With nothing to challenge but the fact we’re blind

 

And you ain’t nothing but a hound dog

An outlined decline with a deadline holding a bottle of wine

You’re just the neighbors’ most shining epilogue

And you ain’t no friend of mine

What makes you shiver?

I’m done with the all-in-one kinda words

There’s no meaning trying to found particular meanings

If you’re not mature enough to measure yourself in the big picture

And it’s hard to care when you’re so cynical

And it’s easy when you can’t tell the difference

Either between a glass of milk and a steak

Or between the one you love and what you create as you

 

We won’t be the ones bringing joy to the world

We won’t be the ones bringing joy to each other

We won’t stop the path of history just because we feel like it

We are not the ones different, righteous, pure nor freed

 

I’m done with the talking of what’s right and what’s wrong

There’s no good speech when all we have are empty concepts

If you’re only gonna be part of something to be a part of something

And it’s hard to care when you’re so always assured

And it’s easy when what makes you move are illusions

Either between the ones you really like

Or among the ones you can’t stand around

 

And I’m done with the getting away talk

There’s no fear when you create your own cage

If you don’t create your own way of getting out of it

And it’s hard to care when I’m so cynical

And it’s easy when I can’t tell the difference

Either between your beliefs and mine

Or between being stuck and being on the road

 

I’m done with the all-in-one kinda words

There’s no meaning trying to found particular meanings

If you’re not mature enough to measure yourself in the big picture

And it’s hard to care when you’re so cynical

And it’s easy when you can’t tell the difference

When you can’t tell that we won’t be the ones

 

We won’t be the ones bringing joy to the world

We won’t be the ones bringing joy to each other

We won’t stop the path of history just because we feel like it

We are not the ones different, righteous, pure nor freed

We are just what makes us shiver

Runaways

Sometimes it seems that you’re getting used to this feeling of constantly being thrown out of your own mind. But that’s just some sort of mind trick that keeps you from actually losing your mind. By definition you just can’t get used to it. At first you’ll feel numb. As good as it sounds, that’s the worst part of it, ’cause you know it’ll be over as quick as a good dope. Again, ‘the brains’ playing with you. Then, as you come back, you’ll desperately try to avoid the unavoidable.  It’s like when you’re walking down the street without an umbrella and you can hear the sky getting darker and you try to pace up but you know you don’t have the time and nevertheless you can’t stop from almost running and expecting and trying to look for cover and pissing off with all the things that get in your way. You’ll feel so stupid and angry at yourself for actually trying to keep the rain from falling with a sieve…but eventually it will come. And when it finally does you’ll be both filled with emptiness and glad that there ain’t anything else stopping you from holding your head and raining everything that was tormenting you. Even tough you acknowledge that without nothing you have nothing to be glad about.

Don’t speak to me in empty words

I used to think it made sense to me that I worried about this deep bullshit of existence. That was until she said to me that what someone went through in life wasn’t a matter of age, but of feeling. That was the most shallow thing I’ve heard in my entire life. How can someone really expect to be passing by the same shit as their grandparents? Of course it’s a matter of age and of course pain has levels. But you see, these levels are not measured by intensity, only by uniqueness. You can’t expect to talk about the taste of an apple without having eaten it. So how can you expect to talk about death while drinking your mom’s pennyroyal tea in your granddad’s garden? Feeling of death is similar to smelling artificial flowers. It will never get real enough until it completely does.